Aww, And I didn't even ask you to...

2nd Place for Best Blog In Orlando in the 2009 Orlando Weekly Awards for my DEAD blog.

I appreciate your retarded voting and the fact that you just screwed more present and motivated writers out of placing this year. Well done, Orlando.

DEFUNCT: ORLANDO

I

DON'T

FEEL

LIKE

DOING

THIS

ANYMORE.

I thought I did. I was wrong. I really don't give a shit about any of this these days. I like writing, I like satire, I like making fun of people. But I am terribly over making fun of YOU. I need a better outlet for the funny. But hipsters. Hipsters and Z list celebs in Orlando? I'm so completely over it.

You've all been loyal. And in person you've been appreciative and that includes EVERYONE I have ever mocked on this website which I find utterly odd as hell, but awesome. You actually proved you could take a joke. I just don't feel like having to pay attention to the mindless shit that this city spews out anymore. I don't feel like checking comments. I'm tired of being reminded to update or asked what my hit "stats" are or being told how much money I can make off of this stupid thing. I don't give a shit. I never have. I had a great run and I think I'll go out on top.

Good luck with your Twitters and Facebooks and all the other things I am blessed with not having to look at anymore. Enjoy your fads and self absorbed obsessions or whatever new social marketing tool that will come out this year that will have you logging your iphone addicted asses into 50 times a day to make yourself feel important amongst your peers. Again, I crave a better outlet.

Anyway. I'll see you around. You know I always have. The only difference is I won't ever be begging for your attention. I know better than to think anything I do, makes me anyone special in this mediocre town. Not even this website.



It's been fun,

Meghan

a.k.a www.myspace.com/Megameghan if you must be so nosey

a.k.a Defame Orlando.






Being noticed can be a burden. Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. So I disappear a lot.

-Bob Dylan

DEFAMED: GOOD LOOK

Oh yeah. Might as well throw this out there. Good Look is tonight at Bikkuri Lounge. Yes the same place you get your better than Publix not half as good as Amura sushi from. Their promotional information reads as follows:

Kcoll Posted:

"SPRING COMES IN LIKE A LION !

AND SO DOES GOOD LOOK!"

with the following flyer....



Umm...maybe you need to wear glasses over your glasses, because that's a fucking TIGER. Everyone knows tired generic laser beams overused on flyers shoot from Tiger eyeballs, Kevin.

Then this:

queso dj GOOD LOOK is tonight people, QUESO, YOUNGHEARTZ, & special live performance by JAMESSON (strippers? fa real? dope) & SECRET WEAPON


It's unfair for me to really Defame this because I know it's where I'll be tonight.
How could you not? Nothing says Dance party like the musical performance of Jamesson Beane, Adrian's DJ'ing mixed with Alchemy trying their hands out in the club scene surrounded by strippers all in the vacinity of raw fish meat.

Do you all do this shit on purpose when you know I'm not blogging anymore?

(Pssst....Calvin...RUN)

"The world needs a narrative"

-Henry Darger

While watching the documentary "In The Realms Of The Unreal" a film about the "outsider" artist Henry Darger... a doctor who mis-diagnosed Darger as "Feeble Minded" goes on to describe the disorder as "someone who lacks totally, the innate power of developement, they have little or no individuality, they will merely grow up extremely ignorant and useless..."

As soon as I heard that, I was suddenly reminded of this blog again.

Feeble Minded...

if only that doctor had lived today, he might be able to clearly see the difference between a brilliant artist and a Steve Aoki fan from the club scene in Miami.


I have to be honest, when I announced my break, I had no intention of ever coming back. I'm still unsure if I do. Sometimes keeping this site going takes actual interest in a town that has remained underdeveloped, stagnant, and truly uninteresting to myself... it all just seems to be more of a chore than it should be. I still however can't help but miss this blog. I hope my lapse didn't create too much damage for an audience who lives in the much more informationally fast paced self absorbed world of idiotic Twitter. Surely you all still know how to read complete paragraphs.

The thing is, I do get the itch, and I can't help but want to complain publicly even if once a month and to one person.

For example,



it's just so fucking hard to stay quiet when more and more of my friends announce to me that the clearly anorexic sub of Jimmy John's on Orange Avenue is "the best fucking sub shop ever".



When "tons of lettuce" is typed in to actually act as a selling point for a sandwich that houses about three thin slices of meat, I have to wonder if the brains behind the very unimpressive Jimmy John's along with its customers grew up poor and were fed shredded paper between a slice of bread as a child.

Then there is Konrad, who continues to go out on the town donning actual elf ears or indian head dresses as if it's just another Abenaki tribe afternoon in the park...







Sigh. Konrad is a really nice guy, but it makes me also wonder about him and his brother's childhood. If maybe they grew up in an orphanage and used to hide under the bed telling one another:

"When we grow up, we will leave here and we will be elves. It won't matter if people understand us, they're all crazy anyways"

DEFAMED: SNATCH SATURDAYS

Dear Ladies of Snatch,

Please tell me how it feels to publicly dance with a penis in your ass.



I often wear heels out, but now I wonder if I switched to flip flops, would it be easier to get rammed in my butthole by a total stranger with creepface when on the dance floor?




Should I dry hump a 12 year old boy next to my best friend on the couch?



Or should we be more discreet in the bathroom...



How large should the hole in the front of my jeans be?



What time is the appropriate time to give head to an unidentifiable man in front of my friends...



And how hard is too hard when being degraded with hair pulling by a guy I've never met before?



I'm totally clueless on how to be a classless vag



when dealing with the opposite sex in a shopping center bar that looks like an old gutted Eckerds with "club" themed cardboard glued to the walls.



Any help will be greatly appreciated.


-Defame

Ah HA! News Clip: The coming of J.E.S.U.S

(new flyer gives me a strange craving for diamond flavored dip n' dots.)

It has us all talking shit before the party has even started. It has you on here requesting its defamation, before I even have a picture to make fun of. Could your shit talk be exactly what this marketing ploy of a name wants? Controversial enough to pick up speed and popularity before the night even opens its doors? An obvious stragedy? Of course. Will it do well? As much as you want to hate him, I've never doubted Mr. Crush's ability to get fad obsessed bodies through the door. The good thing is, if J.E.S.U.S does falter, Docta Dawe and crew will be too busy with their own night STEREO to pick it up and run it into the ground five times harder.

Club night politics aside. I'm just glad I will finally have more hipster pictures to make fun of.

One night a week not delivering enough blasphemous fun to help pass those long boring hours away? How about clicking this link for some interactiveJesus Dress Up.Just click the clothes and slide them on over.

DEFAMED: 5 Year Flashback

Ahh Five Years Ago. Right before it became cool to do the opposite of brush your hair or wear updated versions of your childhood footie pajamas...

Now I'm not totally knocking this. Music as a whole has absolutely sucked as of recently and if someone wanted to play Modest Mouse's entirely overplayed Float On over House and Electro, I'd be a ridiculously pleased patron for the night. I miss dancing to songs with actual lyrics that I can sing out loud with my friends to.

It's just something about the name that makes me laugh. I'm going to keep this short and state the obvious here. 5 Year Flashback seems like a bit of an excuse for a "themed" night. There really isn't a difference between the playlist of DJ B-/Scott five years ago and DJ B-/Scott today. Not to mention, "Music From The Last Five Years" as noted on the flyer, technically means music from 2004 to what is currently being played now. Correct me if I'm wrong but... isn't this usually called Friday Night At Ibar ?



If you're thinking about going tonight, allow me to give you an idea of what to expect...









Gross.

DEFAMED: Rent A Piece of Downtown History

(This post is for the older locals, sorry Crush Crew)



Look familiar?

No?

Perhaps if the house was sprinkled with a layer of white snow? Burr, it's cold out.



Ahh, yes. Now you know it. That is the very same house you left the bars and headed to after hours. The very same place you found yourself in every morning at 7 am, wide awake, glad to be where you were and wishing you were dead, all at the same time. Chatting with people you had nothing but a powder filled nose in common with. Ah, the memories. Wish you could have those memories back?



YOU CAN.



Now it can all be YOURS.

Rent this house get a new job FREE!

All new friends! Hell, just friends in general!

Don't remember the good times? Need a reminder? Want to LIVE in the very place that almost killed your relationships, careers, and lives???

RELIVE THE DREAM... TODAY!

AH HA! News Clip: R.I.P Kelly at Ibar

Blonde Kelly at the front bar of Independent. Her bulletin yesterday shocked me. For the sake of a libel lawsuit and the fact that I do enjoy myself at this bar, I have to refrain from posting it. Damn it. Damn you all for outing me!!! See what you did? You made me have to censor myself.

You will no longer see Kelly's face at Ibar, due to what sounds like a silly bullshit battle of hurt feelings and words exchanged. What a disappointment. Kelly was efficient, entertaining, and known to have someone's drink at the counter before that person even had a wristband on their arm at the door. She was good in my book and I'm sure she'll be missed. Or not. Peace out.

I now dedicate the following song to the management at Ibar or to Kelly, depending on what exactly transpired.

Shirley and Company's Shame Shame Shame.



This was your weekend Aha! News Clip. Little bit of downtown gossip. Enjoy your Sunday.

DEFAMED: MAKE OUT SLUTS

(Fancy Logo, Ladies)

Prize awarded to the person who can correctly count how many times the word slut was used in this post.

During the whole so and so is a slut incident on here...it got me thinking...are girls in Orlando really sluts? What criteria actually makes a girl a slut? In my eyes, if you are single, in your 20's, going to bars and sleeping with different people. That just makes you human. So how do you spot a real slut? Is it the girl who gang bangs a whole group of friends that hang together? The girlfriend who fuck's her boyfriend's best friend? Nahhh. The answer to all my questions...

A real slut wears the word proudly across her chest...

Picture Removed By Request Due To The Embarrassment Of More Lives

Make Out Sluts is an actual local Orlando business (on myspace) that appears to be run by three or four main girls. One that looks like a big bazonga'd wake boarding closet lesbian and a few others who look like they were talked into making out with closet lesbian for money.

They are for hire, to do work from typical empty headed college girl tasks at your events such as shot girl and beer tub bitch, to really taking your night to a place that clubs and house parties have never been before...

They will act like real life sluts!


Picture Removed By Request Due To The Embarrassment Of More Lives



Picture Removed By Request Due To The Embarrassment Of More Lives



Why would anyone want to hire girls for this? Well come on. We all know drunken college girls don't do that shit for free.

Heterosexual ladies, don't feel left out. Be on the look out for the newest party craze for hire, brought to you by the finest in fraternities...

DEFAMED: Justin James

Like love, do you believe in hate at first site? I do...


Justin James...who are you?


And why do I hate you already...


Is it because you intrigue me? And by intrigue, I mean you look like a fag?



Is it because you're going to DJ this event?



with these guys..



Or is it because of my Top Ten Reasons of why I hate you without even knowing you:

1. I hate you.
2. I hate that you have a lip ring. Fuck, I hate anyone with a lip ring.
3. I hate the way your arms are folded in your pictures.
4. I hate that your tattoo's aren't colored in
5. I hate that you leave the stickers on your hat.
6. I hate that you walk into Urban Outfitters, buy everything in the store and wear it all at once.
7. I hate that you had the audacity to remix Elvis.
8. I hate that you have 3 or 4 video's of yourself DJ'ing on your page. No one wants to know what you look like while Dj'ing. Even Daft Punk doesn't want anyone to know what they look like while DJ'ing.
9. I hate that when The Pawnshop was demolished, you weren't standing inside of it.
10. I hate the way you look in the next picture or more importantly I hate that I can't figure out what the fuck you are DJ'ing inside of.



I hate you. I hate you so much.



Stop mocking me Justin James. This is serious. I really hate you.

THIS IS BEING USED TO DISTRACT YOU FROM LEAVING ANOTHER COMMENT ABOUT KATIE "FRECKLES"...

DEFAME 2009

Welcome back. New year. New hopes and dreams...





I WISHHHH...

I wish that pauly crush will use his money on something for downtown Orlando, that doesn't involve electronica and a themed dance night.

I wish that Kinetica and Ricky Diamond will find their spaceship and get home safely.

I wish that the OPD policemen would buy baggie diapers for their horses,
so I can stop stepping in animal shit when I'm dragging my drunk ass down orange ave.

I wish that the bouncers at Backbooth can all find true love and girlfriends. Not the kind where they only feel it and stare at the girl for hours..

I wish Adam Wright will learn that the wall is not the only place that flowers grow.

I wish that Aaron Wright would date a girl who didn't require a nanny.

I wish that BBQ bar would quit playing live Hip Hop on Thursday nights and just stick with their tried and true jukebox.

I wish Face had a better nickname.

I wish Docta Dawe would stop consulting his retarded horny 13 year old inner self when thinking of new club names such as Snatch Saturdays.

I wish a bizarre earthquake would occur and suck all of UCF and its surrounding areas down into it.

I wish Hoops was as cool as some people were trying to make it sound.

I wish more people went to and stayed at Matador.

I wish that peacock room would stop charging a door cover to see a shitty in house DJ.

I wish I knew if Peacock Room was even still open. Is it?

I wish that Backbooth would just serve PBR and not a free keg of dirt water.

I wish Ibar didn't hire all the guys who were once a part of Roxy's fight nights as their security.

I wish people figured out that redlight redlight wasn't located in winter park anymore and stopped knocking on the bakery door for an hour.

I wish the Social would decide whether or not it was a smoking venue with A/C.

I wish that Adrian never comes in the new NV (located on Pine, near Matador) when I'm relaxing with my wine in a plush red velvet booth and listening to a great live jazz band. Plug plug plug.

I wish that Tabu would actually start admitting people into their club, so I don't have to walk between them...for two blocks.

I wish that when I was out none of you would ask me to Defame someone or something. I don't care about this site as much as you think. But if I did...

I wish that I could create a cult out of Defame and require all of my people to wear a snuggie.

I wish Orange County Concepts blog would get more readers to their site other than just their contributing editors.

I wish the "milk district" would make some new friends outside of the "milk district" and Alchemy. And vice versa.

I wish that on Thurs. night Club Element stopped making Back Booth look like it had customers. I hate being tricked into walking down the block, only to arrive at an empty bar.

I wish I knew what kind of racket planet pizza was running without landing in the trunk of one of their cars or finding myself becoming a part of new I-4.

I wish someone would buy brad register some running shoes so he can actually serve a drink in under 15 minutes.

I wish that I had the proper directions to the new Will's Pub or that they would invest in a giant blow up balloon man with floppy arms that would flail around in the wind, bend down and hit my car before I accidently passed the building.

I wish the Lodge was interesting enough to make fun of.

I wish Henry's hat would commit suicide.

I wish vegan hotdog guy gave me something to complain about.

May all my wishes come true.

Happy 2009.

Winter Break

Will resume when you all head back to work and school. Or just school, since no one has a job anymore.

Ah HA! News Clip

We have seen many tragedies as humans… The Holocaust, The Crucifixion of Jesus. The Spanish Inquisition, 9/11, The Assassinations of Kennedy, King, and Lennon, the divorce of Sunny and Cher, the split of the Beatles, the birth of George Bush, the death of Mr. Rogers, the cancellation of Futurama…

But none so tragic. None so shocking, startling, unexpected and staggering. As the break up of...


Kinetica



While Kinetica’s brothers Michri (Link of Zelda) and Konrad, hold together what’s left of this group, the seemingly unwavering relationship between the Statuesque Color Coordinated couple Konrad and Cathy Lee has come to a heart rendering end. Their unabashed love for eachother, or more so themselves, was shattered on such and such date, when Konrad Perkenshirefieldanklebreak was left by Cathy Lee Wiedensteinbisquick for the lead singer of local boy band, also dabbling in wee wee rock, In Passing’s Robby Clay. Care for a listen? Oh it's everything Laguna Beach dreamed of.




Once a close comrade of Konrad, Robby and his heart necklace whisked Cathy Lee away, leaving Perkenshirefieldanklebreak without friend nor lover, alone and yes, ”Stabbed in the Heart”.

Will they swing from each other’s arms once more to grace the top photospot of the Defame home page?



Will Konrad ever hold another woman up high on an invisible pedestal again?




Or like many other things to land on Defame’s website…is this thankfully…the end of Kinetica?

One last video to say goodbye… nothing short of vanity and self-appreciation…I give you Cathy Lee and Konrad’s EPOCH. Yet another video taking place on their staircase.



Xmas post held off till later if I feel like it.

DEFAMED: Cori Yarckin

If your bands hair looks like shit...and I mean the whole entire fucking band...what hope is there for your music?


Your music is circa teen beat explosion 1998 and sounds exactly like a love child between Poison and Mandy Moore before she grew tits and looked legally fuckable. You actually named a song "Daddy Don't Know". This shit is beat into the ground by radio stations that no one is listening to anymore and even TRL, who let you grace their video cameras, has been CANCELLED. Now what? Your only fans according to myspace comments are equally annoying attempts at the music industry just using your overdone page to plug their own shit. The sad thing is you have a great voice and the guys in your band DO know how to play their instruments. You all just chose to do THIS with it.

Also, the best thing about your wikipedia, besides you actually even having a wikipedia... "Cori Yarckin blends the indie rock feel of Paramore with the darker alternative edge of Evanescense Their live show is an experience all its own."

is the fact that you actually called Paramore indie rock.

Congrats guys. You have a song on a Hello Kitty Album, You have a song on the Hills, and another song on the Hills. Wonderful. You're successful. This is your legacy.



You must be so proud.


In all fairness, don't judge them by these photos. Go to their myspace and listen to their music first. THEN form an opinion like I'm about to...

What self respecting musician with a dick wants to play this god awful wee-wee rock?






If that's not an answer to the question, I don't know what is.

Ah HA! News Clip

"ORLANDO, Florida (CNN) -- Remains described as being those of a small child were found Thursday near the home of missing toddler Caylee Anthony's grandparents, a spokesman for the Orange County, Florida, sheriff's office told CNN."

In all seriousness. Its fucking disgusting and I am by no means trying to make a joke out of this.

I just wanted it to be clear as to why I tried to remain anonymous and my safety concerns. If I had defamed Casey Anthony... that bitch could have killed me.

You just never know about people. Some of the things found on her computer could have easily included "along with those searches, they also found that she read Defame: Orlando and that she googled 'How to kill cartoon characters.'"





I will defend the OPD on this one though (begin to feel the sarcasm). Seeing how in every crime movie or drama, the police teams are immediately searching the woods around suspects homes...I can see how this area was easily overlooked.

I can hear the conversation between the officers now

Detective: Apparently we have a missing kid.
Officer: Really?
Detective: Yeah, maybe murdered.
Officer: Should we check these creepy flooded woods behind the home of some of the suspects?
Detective: Nah, no one throws bodies in creepy flooded woods.
Officer: Yeah. Maybe we'll just check the dry parts. These are new shoes.
Detective: I'll tell you where we should check. The state of California.

I hope this wasn't my fifteen minutes of fame. No money to show for it and a bag over my head? That sucks.

Just released the comments that were stuck in approval mode, because I check defame less than some of you do. They scattered to a lot of older posts which was interesting. Sorry about the lag. I am probably without a doubt the worst person to have a blog sometimes.

I have a few new posts in draft mode, just havent decided on which to put up first. They are both bands. Which reminds me, I can't believe one of you said Matt Butcher's packed cd release show sucked and actually compared musicians like him, Thomas Wynn or Mumpsy to some of the talent that was at Taste. Matter of opinion I know, but shit. Speaking of which, I suppose I should collect some pictures from the latter's show.

I have something else to share. Adrian personally informed me that he will no longer be leaving Orlando (anytime soon) I'm a little ticked about this considering all the hard work I put into that now meaningless slideshow and the fact that I have to delay my latest side project...

New Project

SURPRISE...IT'S A GIRL.

Oh yeah. Forgot to tell you all. I was profiled in the Orlando Weekly. It's out today. Cover story. Features moi, Adrian, Pauly C, Jamesson, Waldo Faldo, Brad of the Summerbirds, Mike Feinberg, Scottpod, and others....

Read it:

http://www.orlandoweekly.com/features/story.asp?id=12798

I was a little reluctant to do the article. Mostly because I really don't know what you can write a three page spread about when it comes to a site that just makes fun of things that are obviously stupid. There are no hidden explanations as to why I do it. No underlying jealous or bitter issues. It has nothing to do with me not fitting into any social scene or getting older and growing out of one. I've been this same sarcastic opinionated person from the day I actually started using the brain I was given. The site, sad to disappoint anyone looking for meaning, is as simple as "this sounds or looks stupid to me, I'm going to make fun of it".

My take on the article? Not bad. I've never had any problem in the article or on here, admitting that I'm part of the downtown scene. I find it quite obvious actually. No I've never tried to cash in or make a name for myself around town, and while my blog is popular now, that was NEVER my motive or intention. But I can admit to being involved in downtown as much as anyone else is. I think it's what makes the posts on the website a little more valid. I wouldn't think it would make sense if this site was done by someone who never leaves their apartment, never has met any of you, never listened to the music, never has been to any of these nights, to form a shitty opinion on something they know nothing about. And as far as the article MAYBE giving away who I am? Pretty sure 90% of you have always been aware of it.

I've been intoxicated, landed in stupid pictures, even had a really bad one of me used for a Sat/Thurs Bulletin a while back and thought nothing but to laugh about it and try to avoid it in the future. I know I can be an idiot sometimes when I drink just like anyone else. I know there is always a photographer ready to take a picture of it. I knew the picture was going to land on a public photo forum for everyone else to see or heckle. Do none of you know this? Some of you act like I am singlehandedly posing you for these photos, forcing you to sing embarrassing songs to your webcams, stealing your diaries or breaking into your computers password protected hard drives, when I create the posts that I do. In reality all I am ever using are the same shameless videos, bulletins, about me sections or pictures that YOU posted and wrote... all of which can be found on your 300+ friends very PUBLIC web pages. And if they aren't all public, you're the retard that approved my add request.

Anyway, the article explains how I hate this site. Which I do often, but not all the time. I don't feel entirely good about it. I'm human. I care about people's feelings. I've deleted cruel comments for anyone who asks, and I've even taken down several posts for anyone whose requested it. I understand its hard to see what I do as satire. While I prefer being witty to shitty, I do still feel like if you put yourself out there in an effort to be known, be it your music, promoting, DJ'ing or modeling, you have to expect negative feedback. I'm not going to lie, I do enjoy being able to have a public opinion about some of the things that make me tick. But judging by the 50+ comments a post, I think you all do as well. It does give us a public place as a whole to voice our thoughts on bars that charge an arm and a leg for drinks, slow bartenders, shitty music, or places that purely exist on serving alcohol to minors. I'm not setting out to change everyone's thoughts to match my own. This in the end, again, is one persons opinion on a crappy blogger site. Anything I write about can be defended or argued against in the comments section. But we all in the long run...are entitled to our own fucking opinions, are we not?

I never thought this blog would be article worthy. I still don't. I could sit here and defend a lot of things written in there as far as Billy's opinion on myself, but why bother. Those are his thoughts and while I might not be happy about EVERYTHING that was printed (he could have given a better interview to someone who enjoyed the site rather than interview three people who were Defamed on it) it's his article and for the most part he was very fair and spot on.

In the end, the focus of the site should never be about me anyway. People read into it too much and cause me to write long explanations of something I barely care about myself. It's meant to entertain you for 5 minutes, every few days or when I feel like it, and nothing more than that. That's my piece....peace?..whatever. Enjoy the article. Thank you OW and I love you little Britney Manes, you're by far my favorite flamiest fagiest homo queer in the city.

DEFAMED: Battle of the Retarded

Pandoras Box, I was able to hire the same panel of extremely talented artists you used for the above flyer:



and had them make some new ones for you. These two are on me.







and whoever else you can pull off this fucking website in an effort to cash in.

Sometimes I wonder how utterly stupid people really are. You want us to take you seriously as musicians, but you team up with complete bananas of the city to play at a tapas restuarant. This is as good of a move for any of you as it would be if Ashley Simpson in an effort to clear her smudged name and prove she was talented and legit after she lip synced on SNL... chose to tour with Milli Vanilli, Jim & Tammy Bakker, and OJ Simpson for the summer.


Not that I would ever dare touch any of you, but do you kids need managers? If Adrian is really becoming a better Dj or Ricky Diamond's music shows signs of ...eh...something...don't you think it's a good idea not to get suckered into a cluster fuck of a freakshow in order to make someone else fourteen dollars? More importantly someone who calls themselves ILLUSTRIOUS VIDEOBOY

Dresses like this




starts his myspace page off with this

"From the far reaches of the universe comes Videoboy, the superhero DJ/concert promoter bringing you the best electronic music this planet has to offer."

and promoted a drastically failed night named Peanut Butter Fridays? I mean I'm just stating the obvious here...aren't I?

Ah HA! News Clips

Backbooth's Sick of it Sundays have really been raising the bar on Rough and Tough these days (I hope sarcasm translates well over the internet). Check out the night coming up next (not this) Sunday.




Really? A Blink 182 Cover Band night? Something tells me this is just a sting operation by the BackBooth bouncers to beat up whoever comes in the door.

In other news, DJ duo Kill To Win's Waldo Faldo is getting his retardo hair cut today...



Since Kid's hair below is sadly out of the picture now...



All we can do is cross our fingers and pray for Fro Hat...

GOODBYE ADRIAN

You didn't think I'd let those bulletins go unnoticed did you?
It saddens me to hear that your reasons for leaving are the "friends" who have separated themselves from you and of course...me. After all we have been through together.

As you may have already heard, Defame is losing one of it's dearest and most beloved "members" of the site, Adrian Gianosfakfhaf. With the first hard hitting post on here "Whose Coke is it?" he has helped begin our ridiculous journey through the drollery that is...downtown Orlando. A staple on Defame, he garnished himself in Burger King hats, created the night that to our dismay created the Tropicals, threatened and threw tantrums to get the 30 people he thought were Defame Orlando kicked out of clubs, attacked his gay lover in public, and landed himself in jail.

While he leaves us to return to Pennsylvania, family and old friends, deep down...deep deeeeeeep down (under veins and shit)...of my truly black heart, I will miss this man. Mainly because he just killed a lot of future potential posts for the site. Adrian, that video was for you. To take back home and to always remember that funny little 'Odd Couple' that was once Defadrian.

ARGG

Let's get this clear real fast, before some idiot tells me I SHOULD MOVE again. I don't hate Orlando by any means, contrary to popular belief and what this website may indicate. I just think it has a lot more potential than some of you want to allow it.

You all can fully support the things I hate on. Just actually SUPPORT them. Kinetica, RAOR, Blood on the Dancefloor. I think they suck, but I'm just one persons opinion on this blog after all. I just think if some of you supported MORE of Orlando, meaning in ADDITION to JUST what a specific DJ or promoter tells you is cool in a myspace bulletin, you might have a city to really be proud of.

With that said. I know I'm "DEFAME" Orlando, but I'm EXTREMELY sick of the wrong people getting popular on my fucking website. So I have to do this...



Anti*Pop Music Fest

Yeah it might not be EVERYTHING we could wish for, but it's all we got.


Matt Costa Dates & Music


Au Revoir Simone Dates & Music

Mumpsy (local indie) Dates & Music
Matt Butcher & The Revolvers (local and pitch perfect- if you're into people like Ryan Adams) opening for Conor Oburst Dates & Music
MURS (rap/hip hop) Dates & Music
Thomas Wynn and The Believers (local and tight as Fuck Southern Rock) Dates & Music


All really good at what they do, some too talented to still be in this city. Go support it this week and weekend. Try out some other bars and venues. Go see a band and THEN go dance. Do something new since all your club nights are dead anyways. I'm out for the weekend.

DEFAMED: Rock Bar

I’d like to start this post off by saying that as I was outside earlier throwing my trash out, a hawk came down on a squirrel, lifted it into the tree in front of me and in about 5 seconds dropped its fur and skin down onto the sidewalk.

I don't think I could have asked for a cooler moment in life.

Rock Bar, most ingenious bar name ever...



Let's give you some history and insight. A long long time ago, back when Keoki




not Aoki used to rule the DJ scene (trust me Aoki will look just as stupid to you two years from now) and Mandy Murphy was still a virgin to facials, Rock bar, located across from the downtown library, was just a rave/goth clothing shop. Back when that "scene" was limited to the clubs and the rest of downtown was nothing more than a place to drink with friends. When shitstains such as Slingapours and Suite B, existed only as 21 and up bars-Kit Kat Club and Knock Knock, glowing in dark red and designed solely for good music and good conversation over a few jack and gingers. Where you made friends with someone because you actually had something in common, not because they were decked out in the same one brand of cheap cotton clothing and shiny spandex as yourself. Where a stripper swing could go unnoticed and hang from the ceiling of Knock Knock and not one dumb ass would dare to get on it to get their picture taken by the kcolliarazzi. Back when people could afford to drink at Sapphire-lounging in the bed in the back and talent meant live bands with instruments not DJ's...fuck...where was I? I just got lost for a second and actually enjoyed downtown again. I'm sorry. I'm by no means bitter. I'm in my 20's. I've been part of the same things you all have. But I feel entitled to my own opinion and completely validated when I say that back then felt a lot more real than the "fad" that Orlando has become.

Here is a picture to bring the attention back to Rock Bar...



Not having any idea that there would be a huge revival of poorly dressed adults and glow sticks in the future, the rave clothing store closed permanently giving way to the future birth of Rock Bar. This corner building is now home to "Rock and Roller" guys in their 30's who define rock by black eyeliner, a spiked collar, and display the sign of horns every chance they have.

Exhibit A.



Don't worry about this place and it's existence. Much like Pounders, you have most likely never been in there, most likely never will go there, and it will most likely be changed into something else that will suck just as bad, as I think it's had about three different names since it opened. I just figure why let such a disgrace of a bar go unnoticed on the site. Maybe it will close as well and I can add it to the list of other things mentioned on Defame that have unshockingly failed...

1. Glitter and Gold's site is gone
2. Pounders closed'ish
3. LIQUID CELLAR CLOSED!
4. Carnival
5. Sat/Thurs
6. Should I continue?


The plus side to Rockbar is they support live music. And lucky for every washed up local musician whose band was popular downtown in 2001 who could have made it big, but never quite did, Rockbar is the unfortunate mini venue still willing to give them a stool and 4x4 foot stage to play on.

Assuming the place is still open, see you there in 5 years guys…







Oh I kid, I kid.

DEFAMED: Ricky Diamond

You all have no idea how long I have avoided writing about this dude. And it's not because he isn't perfect for the site, its because he has annoyed the piss out of me ever since the site started in regards to wanting to be defamed. He's sent countless messages, left a bajillion headshot comments that I've denied, and even threatened me recently...

"you make fun of all these people that you dont even know, isn't very nice is it. i'm sure you are absolutely hipsterific gross yourself. and that's why you won't disclose your identity. you are stupid. My music has plenty more potential than your loser website, (which by the way you only have 300 friends on myspace) and i will ruin you guys. but not out of spite, out of fun. so pretty soon, prepare to take that stupid bag with the question mark off of homer simpsons face. so you know what, uglies, don't defame me. don't do it. i don't want, or need your help. i'll just play show after show after show. and people will love it. and i will make fun of you guys at every show. and people will like me more than they hate you. and you will hate it. but pretend that you love it."

Shit, now everyone knows I'm Homer Simpson.

So two days after receiving that "scathing" letter, I receive this youtube from his off the rocker bipolar self . This is one of the few video's I will ever recommend listening to in it's entirety, because I admit, it's funny as shit. Mainly do to the fact that I truly CAN NOT for the life of me tell if it's a joke or not...




.........

PLEASE. Listen to his songs. Go to every single one of his shows. Get him famous and get him the fuck out of Orlando so he never contacts me again. And check out his myspace page. Unless you are just one of those people "who wants to smell his farts and eat his shit".


As far as you go Ricky, you creep me the fuck out and I feel like you're going to murder me. I don't know what the hell you're on, but please remember...